野生问题第2章 达尔文的困境

2 Darwin’s Dilemma
野生问题第2章 达尔文的困境
1838年，查尔斯·达尔文面临着一个棘手的问题。 In 1838, Charles Darwin faced a wild problem. 快到30岁生日的时候，达尔文正在考虑是否要结婚——考虑到孩子可能是婚姻的一部分。 Nearing his thirtieth birthday, Darwin was trying to decide whether to marry—with the likelihood that children would be part of the package. 达尔文列出了与这个决定相关的利弊。 Darwin made a list of the pluses and minuses related to the decision. 我们有他日记里亲笔写的清单。 And we actually have that list in his own handwriting from his journal. 在两页纸的上方，他写下了“这是一个问题”，也许是指哈姆雷特的重大问题，加缪认为这个问题是哲学的基本问题——“生存还是毁灭”。 Across the top of two pages he wrote “This is the Question,” a reference, perhaps, to Hamlet’s momentous question, the question Camus thought of as the fundamental question of philosophy—“to be or not to be.” 对达尔文来说，问题是结婚还是不结婚。 For Darwin, the question was to marry or not to marry.

结婚

生子——(如果上帝愿意的话)
永远的伴侣，(老年时的朋友)，
对一个值得爱和玩耍的对象感兴趣——无论如何比狗还好——
家，有人照顾家里——
音乐和女性闲聊的魅力。
Marry Children—(if it Please God) Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one Object to be beloved & played with—better than a dog anyhow Home, & someone to take care of house Charms of music & female chit-chat.这些东西对健康有好处。 —These things are good for one’s health.

精准翻译：In 1838, Charles Darwin faced a wild problem. Nearing his thirtieth birthday, Darwin was trying to decide whether to marry-with the likelihood that children would be part of the package. Darwin made a list of the pluses and minuses related to the decision. And we actually have that list in his own handwriting from his journal. Across the top of two pages he wrote "This is the Question," a reference, perhaps, to Hamlet's momentous question, the question Camus thought of as the fundamental question of philosophy—"to be or not to be." For Darwin, the question was to marry or not to marry. Marry Children—(if it Please God) Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one
1838年，查尔斯·达尔文面临一个棘手的问题。快要30岁的达尔文正在考虑是否要结婚，并有孩子。达尔文列出了与这个决定相关的利弊，并且我们实际上可以看到他在日记中亲笔写下的清单。 在两页的顶部，他写下了"This is the Question"，这可能是指哈姆雷特的重要问题，也是卡缪认为是哲学的根本问题——"生存还是毁灭"。对于达尔文来说，问题是要结婚还是不要结婚。

结婚
——————
孩子们——（如果上帝愿意的话）
一个恒久的伴侣（&老年的朋友），他会对自己感兴趣


翻译：Object to be beloved & played with—better than a dog anyhow Home, & someone to take care of house Charms of music & female chit-chat.—These things are good for one's health. Forced to visit & receive relations but terrible loss of time Not Marry No children, (no second life) no one to care for one in old age. What is the use of working without sympathy from near & dear friends-who are near & dear friends to the old, except relatives Freedom to go where one liked—Choice of Society & little of it. Conversation of clever men at clubs Not forced to visit relatives, & to bend in every trifle. To have the expense & anxiety of children—perhaps quarelling. Loss of time-cannot read in the evenings-fatness & idleness—anxiety & responsibility-less money for books etc-if many children forced to gain one's bread. (But then it is very bad for one's health to work too much) Perhaps my wife won' t like London; then the sentence is banishment & degradation into indolent, idle fool On the one side he tried to imagine what it would be like to be married. On the other side he tried to imagine what it would be like not to marry. Darwin was trying to imagine the daily pluses and minuses of married life and how those pluses and minuses would feel when he experienced them in the future. My friend and his wife who were struggling to make a
!
object to be beloved & played with—比起狗来更好 家，有人照顾房子 音乐和女性闲聊的魅力——
这些对健康有好处。
【结婚的弊】
被迫拜访和接待亲戚，但时间的损失太可怕了
不结婚 没有孩子，（没有第二人生）
没有人在老年时照顾自己。
如果没有来自亲近朋友的同情，工作有什么用
——对老人来说，除了亲戚，还有谁是亲近朋友
【不结婚、单身的利】
自由去喜欢的地方——选择社交圈子和少量的社交。
在俱乐部与聪明人的交谈。
不被迫拜访亲戚，不被迫在每一个小事上都低头。

有孩子的花费和焦虑
——也许会争吵。失去时间
——晚上无法阅读
——变胖和懒惰
——焦虑和责任
——书籍等的钱更少
——如果有很多孩子，被迫谋生。
（但是工作过度对健康非常不利）
也许我的妻子不喜欢伦敦；
那么这个句子就是流放和堕落成懒汉、愚蠢的人。

一方面，他试图想象结婚后的生活会是什么样子。另一方面，他试图想象不结婚后的生活会是什么样子。 达尔文试图想象结婚后的日常生活的利与弊，以及当他未来经历它们时会有怎样

翻译：decision about having a child had done the same thing. This would seem to be the essence of rationality. Make your best estimate of your expected well-being from one decision versus another. Choose the one with the highest expected well-being. Sure, you can't know how things will actually turn out. And surely it depends on who you end up marrying. But you do the best you can with the information you have. Making a list of pluses and minuses seems like a good idea for dealing with any problem, wild or tame. Darwin didn’t invent the technique. It's probably as old as Eve in the garden facing the wild problem of whether to eat that fruit. (Minuses will annoy the Head Gardener, ignorance is bliss, gaining knowledge may come with unexpected downsides; Pluses-Snake seems like a pleasant fellow, forbidden fruit is sweetest, and so on.) But as we' 11 see, the cost-benefit list that Darwin constructed threatens to lead him badly astray. Let's take a look at his list. The "terrible loss of time" suggests that Darwin was deeply worried about how marriage might reduce his scientific output. In his autobiography, Darwin speaks of the Baconian method—the scientific method that sprung from Francis Bacon's writing. Bacon, though not widely read today, was lord chancellor to King James I and arguably the most brilliant man of his day; he was still well-known in Darwin's England more than two centuries later. I wonder if Darwin was haunted by Bacon's essay "Of Marriage and Single Life," where Bacon argued that only the unmarried can achieve greatness.
决定是否要孩子做了同样的事情。这似乎是理性的本质。尽力估计你从一个决定和另一个决定中所期望的幸福感，选择期望幸福感更高的那个。当然，你无法知道事情实际上会变成什么样子。而且肯定取决于你最终嫁给谁。但是你会根据你所拥有的信息尽力而为。 列出正反两方面的列表似乎是处理任何问题，无论是野生的还是温顺的，都是一个好主意。

达尔文并不是发明这种技术的人。这种技术可能和夏娃在花园里面对是否吃那个水果的野生问题一样古老。（缺点是会惹恼园丁，无知是福，获得知识可能会带来意想不到的负面影响；优点是蛇看起来像个愉快的家伙，禁果是最甜美的等等。）

但是，正如我们将要看到的，达尔文构建的成本效益清单可能会让他严重偏离轨道。让我们看看他的清单。 “可怕的时间损失”表明达尔文非常担心婚姻会如何减少他的科学成果。在他的自传中，达尔文谈到了培根方法——从弗朗西斯·培根的著作中发展出来的科学方法。尽管今天培根并不广为人知，但他是詹姆斯一世的大法官，也可以说是他那个时代最杰出的人物；两个多世纪后的达尔文时代，他仍然很有名。我想知道达尔文是否被培根的文章培根《婚姻与独身生活》所困扰，培根在文章中主张只有未婚者才能取得伟大的成就。


翻译：He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief. Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which, both in affection and means have married and endowed the public. "Hostages to fortune." Bacon was definitely onto something there. Once you are married with children, you lose a lot of control over your destiny. You are held hostage by the random, unavoidable events what Bacon meant by "fortune" -that strike our loved ones. And of course the non-you members of your household have expectations about how you spend your time and money. You might find yourself abandoning the city you love for a more rural existence, just for starters. Bacon, by the way, may not be the most reliable authority on married life. He didn't marry until he was forty-five, marrying Alice Barnham around the time of her fourteenth birthday; he had first noticed her as a "handsome maiden to my liking" when she was an eleven-year-old. They never had children. A few months before his death, Bacon wrote Alice out of his will for "great and just causes." Eleven days after Bacon' s death, Alice married her estate's steward. You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to connect those dots. Bacon's personal experience just might have colored his view of marriage. But it was not unreasonable for Darwin to worry that married life-and especially married life with children-could be a drag on his scientific
成果。拥有配偶和孩子意味着你已经将自己作为"fortune"的人质，因为他们会成为阻碍你追求伟大事业的障碍，无论是德行还是恶行。显然，最伟大的公益事业都是由未婚或无子女的人推动的，这些人在感情和资金上都将自己嫁接于公共事业。 "人质"这个词很准确地描述了情况。一旦你结婚并有了孩子，你就会失去对自己命运的掌控。你会被Bacon所指的"fortune"即不可预知和不可避免的事件所束缚，这些事件会影响到我们所爱的人。当然，家庭中的其他成员也会有关于你如何花费时间和金钱的期望。你可能会发现自己为了开始而放弃你所爱的城市而选择更农村的生活方式。 顺便说一句，Bacon可能不是关于婚姻生活最可靠的权威。他直到45岁才结婚，与14岁的Alice Barnham结婚；他在她11岁时注意到她是一位"我喜欢的漂亮少女"。他们从未有过孩子。在他去世前几个月，Bacon因为"重大和正当的原因"从他的遗嘱中删去了Alice。Bacon去世后11天，Alice嫁给了她的地产管家。你不必是福尔摩斯就能想到那些线索。Bacon的个人经历可能会影响他对婚姻的看法。 但达尔文担心婚姻生活，尤其是带着孩子的婚姻生活，可能会对他的科学成果产生不利影响，这并不是没有道理的。

英译中，要逐句对照：Bob comes across much better in the interview—he has better verbal ability and social skills. But Alice has strengths that may not come through in the interview. Using the full array of characteristics that you care about, you can get a more objective measure of which candidate is best. And if you think the six skills are of different importance, you can weight them accordingly to produce a numerical score. Such a system takes a complex human being and boils them down to a number. In mathematical terms, this system takes a matrix—an array of numbers, a table—and converts it into a simpler thing, a single number. When you consider buying a house, you look at its location and how many bedrooms it has, the size of the kitchen, and so on. But every house has irregularities and different shapes. So we usually rely on a single number—the square footage—to figure out which one is bigger. I may care independently about the size of the kitchen because I love to cook (or don’t care about cooking at all), but the square footage sure beats a list of the different rooms and their respective sizes. The ability to boil complexity down to a single number so you can make comparisons is very powerful. The mathematical name for a number that describes physical concepts like area is scalar. Its origin is the Latin word for ladder, “scala”—something that helps you to climb. It’s the same Latin word for scale—either a noun, to name things that help you measure, or a verb, as in to scale the highest peaks, to rise. Scalars make it easy to put things on a single scale, to make them comparable. They simplify complicated things. We are really good, as humans, at heavier, higher, taller, shorter, bigger, smaller. We are really good at comparing numbers and deciding whether one is bigger, smaller, or the same as the other: 1,000 is bigger than 10; 17.3 is bigger than 17.1. Making these comparisons is so easy we do it without thinking. Franklin’s advice to Priestley is essentially the same thing. By looking for combinations of pros and cons that are roughly equal, he’s implying there’s a scale that allows the pros and cons to be measured in some approximate way and assessed versus each other.
Bob在面试中表现得更好——他具备更好的口头表达能力和社交技能。但是Alice有一些在面试中可能无法展现的优势。通过使用您关心的所有特征，您可以得到一个更客观的衡量哪位候选人最好的方法。如果您认为这六种技能的重要性不同，可以相应地对它们进行加权，以产生一个数字分数。
这样的系统将一个复杂的人类变成一个数字。在数学术语中，这个系统将一个矩阵——一组数字，一张表格——转换成一个更简单的东西，一个单一的数字。
当您考虑购买房子时，会考虑它的位置、卧室数量、厨房大小等。但每个房子都有不规则的形状和不同的特点。因此，我们通常依靠一个单一的数字——平方英尺数——来确定哪个更大。我可能会独立关注厨房的大小，因为我喜欢烹饪（或者根本不关心烹饪），但平方英尺数比各种房间及其尺寸的清单更有说服力。将复杂性归结为一个单一数字，以便进行比较，是非常强大的。
描述像面积这样的物理概念的数字的数学名称是标量。它的起源是拉丁语单词“scala”——一种帮助您攀登的东西。它是衡量的名词的同一拉丁词，或者作为动词，如攀登最高峰。
标量使将事物放在单一尺度上变得容易，使它们可比较。它们简化了复杂的事物。我们作为人类，非常擅长比较重量、高度、更高、更矮、更大、更小等。我们很擅长比较数字并决定一个数字是更大、更小还是与另一个相同：1000比10大；17.3比17.1大。我们无需思考就可以进行这些比较。
弗兰克林给普里斯特利的建议本质上是同样的事情。通过寻找大致相等的利弊组合，他暗示存在一种允许利弊在某种近似方式下进行测量并相互评估的尺度。

英译中，要一句英文一句中文的翻译：A matrix is messy. Its lessons are opaque. A scalar is clean and precise. The precision makes scalars seductive. But the usefulness and accuracy of a scalar depends on how many corners have to be cut to turn a complex set of information into a single number. On the surface, Kahneman’s solution for hiring—forcing people to assign a number—makes the decision more accurate, precise, scientific. As Kahneman writes in Thinking, Fast and Slow, “Whenever we can replace human judgment by a formula, we should at least consider it.” If we are not careful, we forget those last four words and mistakenly feel that whenever we can replace judgment with a formula, we should do so. We are always searching for a formula, a calculation that will remove the uncertainty. Formulas are simple. That’s a feature, but also a bug. Life is complicated. Assigning scores to the relevant characteristics of a job candidate takes the subjective information embodied in a rambling interview and turns it into something that seems objective—a single number. This urge to quantify, to transform subjective or subtle qualitative information into something more precise, such as a single number, is hard to resist. It promises the possibility of converting a wild problem into a tame one. When it comes to decision-making, scalars—raw numbers like the index constructed for Alice and Bob—allow us to imagine we can make reliable comparisons, and that in turn encourages us to imagine it is possible to look into the future and make the best decision among the choices facing us. But the rationality of a cost-benefit list of expected well-being from the decisions we make in the face of wild problems is actually an illusion. Let’s see why.
一个矩阵很混乱，它的教训不透明。一个标量干净而精确。精确性让标量很有吸引力。但是一个标量的有用性和准确性取决于需要削减多少角落来将复杂的信息转化成一个单一的数字。
表面上，卡尼曼提出的雇用方案——强制人们打分——让决策更准确、更精确、更科学。正如卡尼曼在《快思慢想》中写道：“只要我们能用公式取代人的判断，我们就应该至少考虑一下。”
如果我们不小心，就会忘记那最后四个字，错误地认为只要我们能用公式取代判断，我们就应该这样做。我们总是在寻找一种公式、一种计算，以消除不确定性。公式很简单，这是一个特点，但也是一个缺点。生活是复杂的。
为求职者的相关特点打分将散漫的面试中体现的主观信息转化为似乎客观的东西——一个单一的数字。这种渴望量化、将主观或微妙的定性信息转化为更精确的东西（例如单一数字）的冲动是难以抵制的。它承诺可以将一个棘手的问题转化为一个温顺的问题。在决策方面，标量——类似于为爱丽丝和鲍勃构建的指数这样的原始数字——让我们能够想象我们可以进行可靠的比较，这反过来又鼓励我们想象，在面临的选择中，可以看到未来并做出最佳决策。
但是，在面对棘手的问题时，成本效益列表的合理性实际上是一种幻觉。我们来看看为什么。

生产力。他正确地认识到，结婚生子会降低他的自主权。除了把孩子当作一种退休保险，以及结婚带来的不可避免的附带伤害之外，他对孩子没有表现出任何兴趣，他在日记中把孩子描述为“开销和焦虑”的来源。
在达尔文婚姻困境的几十年前，我们经常忘记的本杰明·富兰克林(Benjamin Franklin)是一位优秀的科学家，他建议了一种像达尔文的清单更实用的技术。
1772年，约瑟夫·普里斯特利(Joseph priestley)——他后来发现了氧气——正在考虑转行，这将给他带来更高的生活水平。但这需要有一个富有的赞助人，他的朋友和社会对他和他的妻子来说都是陌生的。结果可能会很糟糕。他向他的朋友本杰明·富兰克林寻求建议。富兰克林写信给普里斯特利说，虽然他不能告诉他正确的选择，但他可以给他一种做决定的方法，一种让他的狂野问题变得温和一点的方法。
富兰克林告诉普里斯特利拿一张纸，在中间画一条线，形成两列，一列是优点，一列是缺点。富兰克林写道，这种方法的优点是，当我们面对一个疯狂的问题时，我们的大脑有时会专注于一组效果，然后再专注于另一组效果。通过花几天时间试着把所有的正负相加，我们就可以同时考察它们。
到目前为止，它与达尔文所做的没有太大不同，但富兰克林更进一步。他鼓励普里斯特利多看看专业人士

cons and "endeavour to estimate their respective Weights." When he sees a pro that is of roughly the same magnitude as a con, or three pros that add up to two cons, they cancel each other out, and he should cross them out. And by doing so Priestley can find out "where the Balance lies" and thereby "come to a Determination accordingly.”
Franklin does concede that such an exercise has a large subjective component. He writes that "tho' the Weight of Reasons cannot be taken with the Precision of Algebraic Quantities," such a strategy reduces the odds of taking a "rash Step.” Franklin calls his framework "Moral or Prudential Algebra," an early attempt to make decision-making mathematical and rigorous.
About two hundred years after Franklin, the Nobel laureate and psychologist Daniel Kahneman suggested doing something similar when you' re trying to decide on the best job candidate when you' re hiring someone. If you' re not careful, you might be charmed by someone's personality or by a misleading first impression. Or a gut reaction to some attribute or another could cause you to overvalue a candidate. Better to decide in advance the top six attributes that are important to the job, and assign each candidate a score from 1 to 5 on each attribute based on the interview, conversations with references, a writing sample, and whatever else you have. Then add up the scores and hire the person with the highest score.
Here's how the system would rate two candidates, Alice and Bob:

翻译结果
和“努力估计他们各自的权重。”当他看到一个有利因素与不利因素的权重大致相同，或者三个有利因素加起来等于两个不利因素时，它们就会相互抵消，他应该把它们划掉。通过这样做，普里斯特利可以找到“平衡在哪里”，从而“得出相应的决定”。
富兰克林确实承认，这样的练习有很大的主观成分。他写道，“虽然理性的权重不能以代数量的精度来衡量，”但这样的策略降低了采取“鲁莽一步”的几率。富兰克林将他的框架称为”道德或谨慎代数”，这是使决策变得数学和严格的早期尝试。
大约在富兰克林时代两百年后，诺贝尔奖得主、心理学家丹尼尔·卡尼曼(Daniel Kahneman)建议，在招聘时，在决定最佳求职者时，也应该采取类似的做法。如果你不小心，你可能会被某人的个性或误导性的第一印象所吸引。或者对某些特质的本能反应可能会让你高估一个候选人。最好提前决定对这份工作最重要的六个品质，并根据面试、与推荐人的对话、写作样本和其他任何你拥有的东西，给每个候选人的每个品质打分，从1到5分。然后把这些分数加起来，雇佣得分最高的人。
下面是系统对Alice和Bob这两位候选人的评分:


我应该在他给普里斯特利的信中告诉他富兰克林的《道德代数》吗? Should I tell him about Franklin’s Moral Algebra in his letter to Priestley? 富兰克林与达尔文的祖父伊拉斯谟是好朋友。 Franklin was good friends with Darwin’s grandfather Erasmus. 达尔文的父亲去巴黎拜访了富兰克林。 Darwin’s father visited Franklin in Paris. 也许富兰克林的方法和家族历史会吸引他。 Maybe Franklin’s approach and the family history will appeal to him. 但我担心富兰克林会把达尔文引入歧途。 But I worry that Franklin will lead Darwin astray. 所以我决定不提这件事。 So I decide not to mention it. 最后，达尔文打破了沉默。 Finally, it’s Darwin who breaks the silence. 他想知道我的想法。 He wants to know what I think. 我从火中抬起头来。 I look up from the fire. 我感觉到他的不安。 I sense his discomfort. 作为一个经济学家，在科学巨人面前，我犹豫了。 And being a mere economist in the presence of a scientific giant, I hesitate. 这个人在贝格尔号上的航行中写了770页日记，做了1750页笔记，记录了5436件皮肤、骨头和尸体。 This is the man who on his voyage on HMS Beagle filled 770 pages in his diary, took 1,750 pages of notes, and cataloged 5,436 skins, bones, and carcasses. 他研究藤壶八年了。 Who studied barnacles for eight years. 他在蚯蚓上做了29年的实验，为他的最后一个科学项目，通过蚯蚓的活动形成蔬菜霉菌，并观察它们的习性。 Who did a twenty-nine-year experiment on earthworms for his last scientific project, The Formation of Vegetable Mould through the Action of Worms, with Observations on Their Habits. 虽然可能不是一本引人入胜的书，但我怀疑这是对蠕虫及其行为的一项相当彻底的实证研究。 While perhaps not a page-turner, I suspect it was a pretty thorough empirical study of worms and their behavior. 我怎么告诉查尔斯·达尔文，他还没有收集到足够的数据? How do I tell Charles Darwin that he hasn’t gathered enough data? 和我们所有人一样，达尔文对未来一无所知。 Like all of us, Darwin was in the dark about the future. 更糟糕的是，就像我们所有人都面临着一个棘手的问题一样，达尔文也不知道他周围有多少黑暗。 And worse, like all of us facing a wild problem, Darwin was also in the dark about how much darkness surrounded him. 在她的书《变革的经历》中，l·a·保罗用成为吸血鬼的选择来比喻这本书的重点。 In her book Transformative Experience, L. A. Paul uses the choice to become a vampire as a metaphor for the big decisions that are the focus of this book. 在你成为吸血鬼之前，你无法想象它会是什么样子。 Before you become a vampire, you can’t really imagine what it will be like. 你目前的经历不包括在阳光明媚的时候靠血维持生命和睡在棺材里的感觉。 Your current experience doesn’t include what it’s like to subsist on blood and sleep in a coffin when the sun is shining. 沉闷的声音吗? Sound dreary? 但大多数，也许是所有你遇到的吸血鬼都对这次经历评价很高。 But most, maybe all, of the vampires you meet speak quite highly of the experience. 对吸血鬼的调查显示他们非常幸福。 Surveys of vampires reveal a high degree of happiness. 但这对你有好处吗?你是真实的你，而不是别人的普通体验，一个有血有肉的人，会实时体验这种体验吗? But will it be good for you—the actual you and not some average experienced by others—a flesh-and-blood human being who will live the experience in real time? 啊，不同的问题。 Ah, different question. 你没有这方面的数据。 You have no data on that one. 而获得这些数据的唯一方法就是带着信仰(或者在这种情况下，可能是反信仰)进入《吸血鬼世界》。 And the only way to get that data is to take the leap of faith (or in this case, anti-faith, maybe) into Vampire World. 一旦你做出了飞跃，发现你不喜欢全流质、高血红蛋白的饮食，你就不能再回头了。 Once you’ve made the leap and find you don’t care for an all-liquid, heavy-on-the-hemoglobin diet, you can’t go back. 保罗指出，这个决定最奇怪的地方之一是，一旦你变成吸血鬼，你喜欢和不喜欢的东西就会改变。 One of the weirdest parts of the decision, as Paul points out, is that once you become a vampire, what you like and what you dislike change. 作为人类，你可能会觉得自恋令人厌恶。 As a human, you might find narcissism repugnant. 但吸血鬼觉得自恋很有新鲜感，当他们回顾自己不是吸血鬼时，会对自己的谦逊感到不屑。 But vampires find narcissism refreshing and look back on their humbler non-vampire selves with disdain for their humility. 在决定什么对你最好的时候，你应该考虑哪个“你”? Which “you” should you consider when deciding what’s best for you? 现在的你还是将来的你? The current you or the you you will become? 这听起来很愚蠢，但它与我们面临的许多疯狂问题并没有什么不同——无论是结婚、生子、加入一种宗教，还是离开你从小长大的宗教。 It sounds silly, but it’s not that different from a lot of wild problems we face—whether to get married or have children or join a religion or leave the religion you grew up with. 许多决定都涉及破釜沉舟，进入一个新的体验，它将以你无法想象的方式改变你，包括你所关心的事情，以及什么给你带来快乐或悲伤，甜蜜或悲伤，阳光或阴影。 Many decisions involve burning bridges, crossing into a new experience that will change you in ways you can’t imagine, including what you care about and what brings you joy or sorrow, sweetness or sadness, sunshine or shade. 摄影师杰西卡·托德·哈珀(Jessica Todd Harper)在她的《家庭舞台》(The Home Stage)一书中精彩的家庭摄影集中描述了为人父母的过程:“我进入了一个另类而陌生的世界:一个由我们的孩子预测的世界。 The photographer Jessica Todd Harper descr