Do not like you, then help you fail 不喜欢你,就“帮“你失败
Most people who fail for lack of social skills talk of "office politics" doing them in, but the politics may be nothing more than normal interactions among people. If you have trouble with office politics, you may really be having trouble dealing with people.
大多数因为缺乏社交技能而失败的人常常谈到“公务”弄得他们筋疲力尽。但公务或许只不过是正常的人际交往而已。如果你“公务”碰到麻烦,你就真的可能在与人交往方面有困难了。
You may get along on brilliance alone for a while, but most careers involve other people. You can have great academic intelligence and still lack social intelligence---the ability to be a good listener, to be sensitive toward others, to give and take criticism well. People with high social intelligence admit their mistakes, take their share of blame and move on. They know how to build team support.
你兴许在单独工作时显赫一阵子,但大多数工作都涉及到其他人。你可能具有非凡的学术智能,确认然缺乏社交能力---好好听取别人意见,体贴他人,善于给予批评和接受批评的能力。有高度社交能力的人承认自己的错误,接受自己应付的责任,然后继续前进。他们知道怎样建立相互支持的合作关系。
If people don't like you, they may help you fail. One day at an airport, a traveler observed a well-dressed businessman yelling at a poster about the porter's handling of his luggage. The more abusive the businessman became, the calmer the porter seemed. After the businessman left, the traveler complimented the porter on his restraint. "oh, that's nothing," he said, smiling. "you know ,that man's going to Miami, but his bags-- they're going to kalamazoo." coworkers--even subordinates-- if poorly treated, can do you in.
如果人们不喜欢你,他们可能帮你失败。有一天,在机场,一位游客看到一位穿着入时的商人冲着一个搬运工人大喊大叫,对搬运工处理他的行李的方式大发脾气。商人越是无理,搬运工却显得越加心平气和。商人离开后,游客称赞搬运工能忍辱克己。“哦,没什么,”搬运工微笑着说,“你知道,那个人要干到迈阿密去,可是他的行李袋却给运往卡拉马祖。”同事,甚至下属,受到不良对待时,可能使你陷入困境。
On the other hand, you can get away with serious mistakes if you are socially intelligent. This is why many mediocre executives survive violent corporate upheavals. Sensitive in their dealing with others, they are well liked; when they make mistakes, their supporters usually help them recover. A mistake may actually further their careers if the boss thinks they handle the situation in a mature and responsible way.
另一方面,如果你社交能力强,处事聪明,你就能避免一些严重的错误。这就是为什么许多能力平凡的主管人员能成功处理公司中突然发生的动乱事件的原因。他们因为在与人交往中周到地体贴别人而很受人喜欢;他们犯了错误时,其支持着常帮助他们改正错误,使之恢复原状。如果老板认为,他们用一种成熟而负责任的方式处理了局势,那么一个错误实际上也许能推进他们的事业。
People with poor interpersonal skills have trouble taking criticism. When confronted with a mistake, they let their ego and emotions get in the way. They may deny responsibility and became moody, volatile or angry. They mark themselves as "prickly" and "temperamental".
交际技能较差的人很难接受批评。他们面对错误时,让自尊心和自己的情绪成为绊脚石。他们可能推卸责任,变得不快,动辄发脾气。他们称自己是“易发脾气的人","生性易激动的人”
Social intelligence is an acquired skill. The more you practice, the better you get. Like good manners, it can be learned.
社交能力是一种通过个人努力而获得的技能。锻炼的越多,就掌握的越好。象礼貌一样,它是可以学会的。
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