At last, the spookiest time of year is upon us.
终于,我们迎来了一年中最恐怖的时刻。
A night of horrors and haunts awaits you.
等待在你面前的将会是一个吓人又逃不过的夜晚。
Not because of gurus or goblins, because of these five spine chilling frights!
不是因为古鲁或是妖怪,而是因为五种让人毛骨悚然的东西!
These are the five true horrors of Halloween.
下面就是万圣节五大惊恐事件。
First up, the most terrifying surprise, when Halloween falls on a weekday.
首先,要是万圣节是在工作日,那将是一个最恐怖的惊喜。
You've picked the perfect costume.
你精挑细选了一套服装。
You've spent all afternoon getting ready, and you can't wait to have the best costume at your Halloween party.
你花了一个下午的时间来准备,你已经迫不及待想要穿上你那完美的服装出席万圣节派对了。
It's Halloween.
这可是万圣节。
I assumed everybody wanted to have fun!
我还以为大家都想大玩特玩呢!
Simply mortifying!
真是痛心疾首!
But at least you scored points for originality.
不过至少你能鹤立鸡群。
It could be even eerier.
或许还会有更恐怖的事。
There's always the evil twin!
吓死人的双胞胎从不缺席!
You didn't plan it, and you're wearing the same costume!
虽然并非刻意为之,但你们却穿了一模一样的服装!
Suddenly, being the only person dressed up doesn't seem so bad.
你突然间就觉得只有自己一个人好好打扮反而没那么糟糕了。
Fine! I'll change.
好吧!我换。
Undeterred, you grab whatever you can find and run to the bathroom to create a whole new costume.
毫不气馁的你抓起能找到的所有东西,跑去卫生间又鼓捣出来一套全新的服装。
You shut up, this is my house!
闭嘴,这是我家!
A specimen so unique, you're sure no one else will have it on!
你扮成一个样品,想着肯定没有人会和你撞衫了!
Unfortunately, it's so unique that no one can understand it either!
非常不幸,因为过于特别,甚至没有人知道你穿的是什么!
Ooh, what are you dressed as?
喔,你扮的是什么?
A Hawaiian Punch!
一瓶夏威夷潘趣酒!
Like the drink?
就是那种饮料?
I don't get it.
真搞不懂你。
And this curse will follow you the rest of the night, explaining your costume over and over.
这个诅咒会一直跟着你,你得一遍又一遍地解释你的装扮。
What are you, a. . . Hula boxer?
你这是...草裙拳击手?
Yeah, fine, sure.
对,没错,真棒。
I'm a Hula boxer, yeah.
我是一个草裙拳击手,太棒了。
What the hell is that?
那又是什么鬼东西?
After surviving one too many harrowing encounters, you take on front door duty.
在饱受打击之后,你开始负责开门迎客。
After all, the most innocent part of Halloween is enjoying the trick-or-treaters.
毕竟,万圣节最天真无邪的就是玩不给糖就捣蛋的游戏。
Qr so you thought.
至少你是这么以为的。
Teens!
青少年!
Trick or treat!
不给糖就捣蛋!
They're way too old to be trick or treating, but too lazy to come up with a costume!
他们年纪都这么大了,本来就不适合玩这个游戏,居然还懒到连服装也不换。
Do they really just want free candy?
他们难道就是单纯地想蹭免费糖果?
Are they going to egg your house?
他们会往你的房子扔鸡蛋吗?
That'll be a nightmare to clean!
一想到打扫就是一场噩梦!
So you've survived Halloween.
这样你就熬过万圣节了。
Or so you thought.
至少你是这么以为的。
There's one more fright yet in store for you this night.
今晚还有一场惊吓在等着你。
Maybe just might kill you.
或许都能杀了你。
Perhaps from fear itself!
这可能就是恐惧之源!
Something so gruesome, so astonishing, that it will make you wonder "has God forsaken us?"
这东西又恐怖又吓人,能让你怀疑“上帝是不是抛弃我们了?”
Yes, those circus peanut candy things!
没错,就是那些马戏团花生糖!
Who, who's even buying these anymore?
是谁,到底是谁现在还会买这些东西?
Like you have to make an active choice to purchase these.
毕竟也没人能逼你买这些糖。
And hand them out.
最后你还是得把它们都送出去。
还没有评论,快来发表第一个评论!