英语演讲——人生

When I was 14, my family and I moved over 5000 miles from a Milan to Solve. On my NAS last night in Italy, I remember feeling devastated, because the world, as I knew it had been taken away from me. My international school Milan was a diverse environment that fostered individually. I took French and journalism as electives , I played soccer after school and went canoeing in France as a part of a school field trip. 


But in my all female school in Korea, I was stuck in school from 7:30 am to 10 PM. Everyone took the exact same courses, and there was no such thing as elective. I went from being the math and science ways in Italy to flunking my very first science assignment in Korea. We had to write the 118 elements of the puric table sixty times each. Now that's over 7000 times.


The next day. I proudly presented my homework. The teacher glanced at it and wrote to big x. apparently, it had to be written horizontally and not vertically, which meant that I flunked the assignment and had to do it all over again. The next day. 


You see,it was quite a rough transition. But by the end of high school, I felt like I`d fully adjusted to life in Korea. I`d made a few good friends and pulled many , many all night to catch up to schoolwork. 


And I remember thinking the toughest days of my life are finally over. But to my surprise, there were significance and challenging life transitions over, over and over again, including coping with a big heartbreak, moving to Japan and then Hong Kong. Starting work and coming here to the Jesse And I recognize there was a pattern. When I first step into the seasons of change, I often felt like I lost control. like, I had lost a part of myself.


And I confess this is how I felt many times during my first year of the GSB. as I started but was supposed to be the two best years of my life. I wondered why I didn't feel as confident and as happy as many of you seem to be. Can anyone relate to that so I asked 107 MBA twos of the class of 2016. What were your dominant feelings, most dominant feelings as you spent your first year. The results were eye opening. Almost 60% of you said that you are primarily anxious in your first year. 45% said that you were excited, which is great. 43% said that you felt like you had lost control. And 38% said that you felt lonely. And only 7% felt like you are confidence. 


Now the feelings of anxiety or the lack of control seemed like a common experience as we go through seasons of change. And I realize we have full agency to shape and manage this transition instead of reluctantly or relatively struggling through them. So today I want to share with you the art of managing life transitions. And I've packaged in them in three hours, recalibrate your frame and reach out. 


Now the first R is recalibrate your expectations. I lived and worked in nine different countries in my life , so I thought coming here tonight ,the United States as a student, would be a piece of cake. I expected to hit the ground running on day one. But as my feelings deviated from my expectations of how quickly I could adjust, I felt increasingly nervous.  


And perhaps this is why the survey shows that the students have lived in the United States for a long period proportionally more anxious. And the students who came here for the first time. Whereas international students expected coming to the GSB to be a big life transition and expected to feel frustrated, even. Many of the American students didn't think that this be a big  change. But the fact that it was made many of us feel nervous.


I realize last year that I was penalizing myself for falling short of an unrealistic expectation I was putting on myself. Once I started recalibrating expectations, I created more room for self mercy. And with that came a newfound sense of relief and calmness that helped me push through this time of transition. 


So if you're going through the transition or the next time you go through one, think hard about the types of expectations you're putting on yourself. And recalibrate them and always remember to have more self mercy and not less.


The second R is reframe challenging times and transitions as an opportunity to grow. When I first started work and consulting in Korea, my manager had given me some rough feedback. My confidence had it rock bottom and I didn't want most first year analyst did at the time which, I go to the bathroom and cry. And my senior analyst. Meredith, came to find me in the restroom. 


And there I was crying and she said something that I will never forget. She said, Christine. things are hard because you are growing. Yes, it's uncomfortable and yes it's painful, but only because you`re taking on bigger things in life. Sanfrod psychologist Carol Dweck calls this the growth mindset, and found that this is exactly what allows people. To thrive, even during the most difficult life situations.


So if you are going through a season of change and if you have all these negative feelings hitting you, remember. That you have the agency to reframe your mindset. Because when you do and if you do, you will come out of life transition stronger. 


I've experienced this many times in my life. And our classmates have done too. Th biggest single, biggest shift in emotions from the first year and the second year. Was confidence. Where is only 7% over classmates fell confident in the first year. 50% said that they felt confident in their second year, and this was the second most dominant, appealing after gratitude. To always remember to reframe your mindset and it's in your agency to do so. 


The 3rd R is reach out. What amplified my feelings of anxiety and loss of control was the reception that I was the only one feeling this way. And I didn't want to share this with a lot of you, because I'm usually a happy person, and I didn't want to be perceived in any other way. 


A breakthrough moment for me came when I was talking to a close group of friends and I can find my true feelings with them. And to my surprise even the most confident looking one was struggling inside. The realization that I am not alone gave me so much relief. And this , the sence of togetherness, helped me heal out of my anxieties. 


So if you`re like me, reach out to someone, it`s ok to be vulnerable. And on the flip side , if you know someone who`s going through a significant change. Reach out to them because you never know how much of an impact you can have in their lives.  


So here are the three hours of managing life transitions. Recalibrate reframe and reach out, whether you have another year of school left or you`re going out into the real world. Take this talk with you. And always remember that you have full agency to shape , manage the many, many  life transitions  that are coming your way.  


Thank you.