010 The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying
Australian nurse Bronnie Ware spent several years, caring for patients who had less than three months to live. She recorded their stories and shared their thoughts about life in her book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”. I encourage you to take these most common regrets of the dying, and make sure you don't look back with the same feelings.
澳大利亚的护士Bronnie Ware用了几年时间照顾那些生命仅剩不到三个月的人。她将他们的故事以及人生感悟记录在她的书《将死之人的五大遗憾》里。我建议你去了解一下这几个最为普遍的遗憾,并且一定不要让自己在回顾这一生时有同样的感受。
The 5 most common regrets of the dying were:
Number 1: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Number 2: I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
Number 3: I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
Number 4: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Number 5: I wish I had let myself be happier.
将死之人的五大遗憾:
1. 我希望当初我能过自己想要的生活,而不是别人期待我过的生活。
2. 我希望当初我能不那么拼命。
3. 我希望当初我能有勇气表达自己的感受。
4. 我希望当初我能和好友保持联系。
5. 我希望当初我能让自己快乐一些。
Notice that NONE of these most common regrets revolve around money or work. Strange how no one said “I wish I worked more at the office” or “Gee I wish I had more cash to take with me”. That doesn't mean you shouldn't work hard, or make money, you should, and you should do it in a way that is in alignment with your purpose, but you should never PRIORITIZE money or work, over things that TRULY MATTER.
请注意,这些遗憾中,没有任何一条是关于钱或者工作的。这看似很奇怪,因为没有人说“要是当初能做更多的工作就好了”,没有人说“唉,我多么希望我能拥有更多的钱”。这并不意味着你不该努力工作或者挣钱。你应该做,你应该按照自己的目标和想法去做这些事,但你绝不该把钱或工作看得比那些于你而言有意义的事情还要重要。
NUMBER 1: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
遗憾一:我希望当初我能过自己想要的生活,而不是别人期待我过的生活。
This was the most common regret of all these people lying on their deathbed. How powerful is that? Such a powerful lesson you should live with, and remind yourself of every day.
这将死之人最常见的遗憾。这个感受有多强烈呢?这个遗憾所带来的教训非常重要,重要到你需要每天都以它来警醒自己。
BE YOURSELF. Follow your own path. Do what you KNOW is right for you. There is nothing more important. Not just for you, but for everyone you love, everyone who is influenced by your behaviour. When these patients realized that life was almost over, they had the ability to look back with clarity.
做你自己。走你自己的路。做你认为正确的事,因为没有任何事比它更重要。你这样做,不是单只是为了你自己,同时也是为了每个你爱的人,每个受到你影响的人。当这些病人意识到自己的生命即将走到尽头,他们回顾这一生时的思路更清晰透彻了。
Unfortunately, many of these people saw a life with dreams left unfulfilled because they settled for a life others expected of them, not one they truly wanted to live. Bronnie Ware said:
“Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made or not made.”
不幸的是,他们中的很多人看到的,是自己未实现的梦想,因为他们一直在以他人所期待的方式活着,而不是过自己想要的生活。 Bronnie Ware说,很多人甚至来不及实现自己哪怕是一半的梦想,他们不得不等到将死之际才意识到,这一切都是来源于自己做过的或没能做的选择。
NUMBER 2: I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
遗憾二:我希望当初我能不那么拼命。
Every single male patient had this regret. These men said they had missed out on so much in their relationships and friendships because they simply worked too much.
每一位男病人都有这个遗憾。这些男人说,他们因为过度忙于工作而错过了太多亲密关系、朋友关系中的美好。
Everyone has to work. We all need money to get by, and we all deserve an abundant life – to do that, you must wor. But again, learn to PRIORITISE what is really important. Not just with your TIME, but with your ENERGY as well.
每个人都需要工作。我们都需要钱来度日,我们都值得拥有富足的人生,要实现这个,你就必须工作。但,正如我们刚才说过的,你要学会把你的时间和精力优先放在最重要的事情上。
Give the majority of your energy to those you love, and the things you love doing. Choose work you love, work that is more in line with your purpose.
把你大部分的精力奉献给那些你爱的人和你热爱的事情。选择你热爱的工作,那种和你的人生追求更契合的工作。
NUMBER 3: I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
遗憾三:我希望当初我能有勇气表达自己的感受。
As the author said:
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.”
正如作者所言,很多人为了人际关系的和睦而压抑自己的感受。结果,他们只能甘于平庸,一直成为不了他们本能成为的人。
It's so sad to hear this, and know how common it is, but it is empowering to know that it DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOU.
这样的情况以及它的普遍程度,听起来确实很令人难过,但请你务必明白,你,完全没有必要这样,知道这一点,你就拥有了力量。
Break the cycle of this toxic thought pattern. Be the influence that changes this in your bloodline.
打破这种对你有害的思维模式。你要自己做出改变,去改变这根深蒂固的思维模式。
Express who you truly are with no apologies. Be yourself, 100%. Never afraid to express your feelings, growing and evolving into more of an amazing human being every day.
表达你自己的真实感受,不要感到不好意思。做最真实的自己。永远不要害怕表达自己的感受,你要成长,每一天都要变得更优秀。
NUMBER 4: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
遗憾四:我希望当初我能和好友保持联系。
The author said:
“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.”
作者说,通常来说,只有在人生最后几个星期时,人们才会意识到老朋友有多么重要,然而这时他们已经不一定能够联系得上老朋友们了。很多人过度沉浸在自己的生活中,任由如金子般珍贵的友情随着岁月流逝。
It's easy to take friends, family and loved ones for granted. Especially those you know will always be there for you. But take a moment to think about if you lost one of them. Would you wish you spent more time with them?
我们很容易将朋友、家人和我们爱的人们的存在视为理所当然,尤其是那些你知道永远不会离开你的人。但,请认真想一想,如果你失去他们中的一个,会怎样?你是否会希望自己能够多些陪伴他们?
As Stephen Levine said:
“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?”
正如Stephen Levine所言,如果你即将死去,你只能打最后一个电话,你会打给谁?你会说什么?趁你现在还活着,为什么不马上行动呢?
Maybe it's time to make a few calls.
也许是时候打几个电话了吧。
NUMBER 5: I wish I had let myself be happier.
遗憾五:我希望当初我能让自己快乐一些。
The author said:
“Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They'd stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The ‘comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.”
作者说,很多人直到将死之时才意识到,快乐是一种选择。他们总是拘泥于以往固有的生活方式和习惯。他们的精神和肉体都总是停留在自己熟悉的舒适圈里。
Never forget those words. Happiness is a choice.
请你务必记住:快乐是一种选择。
Happiness is a choice. You can never choose what circumstances show up in your life, but you always choose how you respond.
快乐,是,一种选择。你不可能选择生活中出现什么状况,但你能选择如何去应对它们。
Choose to be happy. Choose by making happy choices. Choose daily habits that put you in a positive state. Choose books, TV, friends that make you feel good, and help you to see the good in others.
选择快乐,做出快乐的选择。选择那些让你变得积极的生活习惯,选择那些让你感觉良好、让你在他人身上看到闪光点的书籍、电视、朋友。
No one ended up on their deathbed saying they wished they hadn't been so happy.
没有哪个将死之人会在病榻上说“我希望我当初不那么快乐”。
LIVE FULLY. Playfully. Fun. Happy. Lighthearted.
活出极致,活出兴味,活出乐趣,活出幸福,活出自在。
Stories like these shouldn't be sad or scary. They should serve to inspire you. To inspire you to create the changes you need in your life.
这些故事不应该你感到沮丧或者害怕的。它们应该鼓舞你,让你去做出你需要的改变。
Life is short, no one knows how long they have left on this earth. Make the most of each and every day, so you get to the end without any regrets.
人生苦短,没有人知道自己还能活多久。把握当下的每一天,你的人生才不会以遗憾告终。
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