07 第2章 女子的本分（2）

2-2 女子的本分（2）

“You indulge her,” Li said, her loud voice carrying from the living room. Mulan and Xiu paused to listen. Closing her eyes, Mulan held her breath. She could picture her mother and father going through their nightly routine: her mother tidying up while her father slowly unlaced the binding on his leg. Only on this particular night, they were not going about it as quietly as they usually did. 

“There’s no harm in herding chickens,” Zhou retorted. 

Mulan heard the soft, even footsteps of her mother as the woman moved closer to her husband. “You know I’m not talking about chickens,” she went on. “I’m talking about her ... her bold spirit. We can’t encourage it.” 

“Mulan is young,” Zhou countered. “She’s still learning to control herself.” 

“You make excuses for her!” Li said, her voice laced with frustration. “You forget Mulan is a daughter, not a son. A daughter brings honor through marriage.” 

“Any man would be fortunate to marry our Mulan,” Zhou said. 

Hearing the certainty in her father’s voice, Mulan bit her lip. She wanted to be the girl he believed her to be. Maybe chasing that chicken had been a little bit reckless. And maybe she should have listened to her father when he told her to stop. But did her silly actions now really stand to ruin her marriage options in the future? 

As if hearing her daughter’s thoughts, Li continued, “Xiu gives me no trouble. The Matchmaker will find a good husband for her.” Mulan didn’t have to be in the room to imagine the frown on her mother’s face or the way she nervously rubbed her temple. When she spoke again, her voice sounded sad, anguished. “It is Mulan I worry about. Always Mulan.” There was another pause, and then she continued, her voice almost impossible to hear: “I just don’t know where she fits in this world.” 

The room below grew silent. 

Mulan felt her sister’s eyes on her but she refused to lift her head. Instead, she stared down at the comb in her lap, rubbing anxiously at the bristles. Her mother’s voice echoed in her head. Was her mother right? Was there no place for her in the world? She had always felt more comfortable beside her father in the field than with her mother by the stove. Yet she had never thought that was wrong ... until now. 

“She doesn’t mean it,” Xiu said. 

Mulan stayed silent. She wasn’t ready to speak. But her sister was nothing if not determined. “Tell me about the spider,” she pressed.