【学霸本霸】如何成为尼古拉·特斯拉一样的天才？

如何成为像尼古拉·特斯拉一样的天才？
How to be a genius like Nikola Tesla?
第一条：确保你的大脑供血充足
Number one: make sure your brain has adequate blood flow.
大脑是人体最重要的肌肉
Your brain is your most important muscle,
有着不可替代的地位
more so than anything else.
要成为像我一样的天才
To be a genius like me,
你的大脑对供血的需求就会非常大
your brain will require a lot of blood.
每晚睡前 我都会把所有脚趾各捏100次
Every night before bed, I squeeze each toe 100 times!
从而把脚部血液推送到大脑里
To push the blood from my feet into my brain.
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One.
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Two.
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Three.
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Four.
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Five.
……83
…Eighty-three.
84
Eighty-four.
87
Eighty-seven.
等等
Wait,
算了 还是重新开始吧
Nah, better start over.
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One.
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Two.
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Three.
第二条：拥有一双蓝色的眼睛
Number two, have blue eyes.
我父母的眼睛都是棕色的 而且他们不是天才
My mother and father both had brown eyes, and they were not geniuses.
但我的眼睛是蓝色的 并且我是个天才
But I have blue eyes, and I am a genius.
这是巧合吗？
Coincidence?
我觉得并不是
I think not.
我的大脑消耗了太多精力
My brain uses so much mental energy
以至于我虹膜的黑色素都逐渐被吸收掉了
that it has actually absorbed the melanin in my iris over time.
因此我天生的黑眼睛变成了蓝眼睛
Causing my naturally dark eyes to become blue.
第三条：从不记笔记
Number three, never write anything down.
记笔记是傻瓜才会干的事
Taking notes is for dummies.
高等微积分之类的可以轻易在脑中算出来
Things like advanced calculus can easily be done all in your head,
所以记笔记并展示你的过程
so writing down notes and showing your process
完全没有必要 那只会减慢你的速度
is unnecessary and will only slow you down.
你死后不需要留下任何你是天才的证据
There should be no evidence of your genius left after you die.
如果你在解决问题时遇到困难
If you’re having a hard time thinking of a solution to a problem,
你充满灵感的大脑 只需眼前灵光一闪
a simple seizure where blinding lights flash before your eyes
就能给出答案
should give you the answer in a vision.
啊哈！42！
Ah ha! 42!
第四条：工作 工作 还是工作
Number four, work, work, and more work.
不是每个人都像我一样天赋异禀
Not everyone is fortunate enough to be born a genius like me.
但是你可以为工作付出一切！
But there is no limit to the amount of things you can sacrifice for your work！
举个例子 我晚上只睡不到四小时
For example, I sleep less than 4 hours a night.
我也从未浪费时间在情感纠葛上
I have also never had any of those time wasting romantic entanglements.
记住 ：坚守孤独！
Remember: Be Alone!
成为一位天才！
Be A Genius!
这就是发明的秘密
That is the secret to invention.
我是说 难道你能说出来一个
I mean, can you even name one invention
由已婚男士发明出来的东西吗？
that has been made by a married man?
我肯定不能
I sure can’t.
第五条：拥有瘦高的身形
Number five, be thin and tall.
我又瘦又高 因此我很健康
I am very tall and thin, and therefor I am very healthy.
我只吃蔬菜 众所周知
I also only eat vegetables and it’s a well-known fact
素食者比非素食者更健康
that vegetarians are better people than non-vegetarians.
我还每天步行8到10英里
I also walk 8 to 10 miles per day
在过去的40年里 我的体重一点儿都没变
and I have had zero weight variance in the last 40 years.
身体瘦高健壮 头脑才能聪明
Strong tall thin body, strong mind.
第六条：个人卫生
Number 6, Personal grooming.
你必须全力保护自己免受细菌侵害
You must protect yourself from germs at all costs.
细菌无处不在
They’re everywhere…
由于肥皂是用动物做的 我们不能使用
But soap is made from animals, so we can’t use that.
因此我发明了一个装置
That’s why I invented a device
它会用美妙的电流杀死你身上所有细菌
that will zap all the germs on your body with glorious electricity!
这是保持清洁的安全方法
It’s the safe way to stay clean.
第七条：与对手保持距离
Number seven, don’t let your enemies get too close.
你知道是我发明了X光线吗？
Did you know that I invented the x-ray?
这是真的！
It’s true!
我拍了第一张X光片
I took the very first x-ray photograph ever.
我本来能有证据的
And I would have proof too
但是狗比爱迪生把我的实验室一把火烧没了
if that dog Edison hadn’t burned my laboratory to the ground
连同我所有的放射性物质 还有磨损的电线
along with all my radioactive material andfrayed wires!
在简介里找到我的视频链接：
Check the description for a link to my video:
《托马斯·爱迪生是最差劲傻瓜的十大原因》
“Top 10 Reasons Thomas Edison Is Just The Worst And Is A Moron”,
了解更多详情
if you’d like to know more.
第八条：不要对投资者太挑剔
Number eight, don’t be too choosy about investors.
如果你像我一样是个全职天才发明家
When you’re a full-time genius inventor, like me,
你就需要想办法赚钱
you need to get your money from somewhere.
我以为美国军方无需多想
I thought my Ruby Death Ray invention would be a no-brainer
就会采用我的红宝石死光发明
for the American Military.
我甚至演示了它是如何工作的！
I even demonstrated how it would work!
但他们目光太短浅 看不到它巨大的潜力
But they were too short-sighted to recognize its moon-exploding potential.
所以我将它卖给了俄罗斯人
And so I sold it to the Russians!
第九条：不要相信你听到的一切
Number nine, don’t believe everything you hear.
相对论么？
Theory of Relativity?
呸！
Bah!
第十条：鸽子 啊！
Number ten, pigeons. Ah!
若你像我一样忙于成为天才而无法娶妻的话
If, like me, you’re too busy being a genius to have a wife,
去爱护一只鸽子 和
a beautiful pigeon is just as good
爱护一个女人也没什么差别
as a human woman to love and care for.
我记得有一只鸽子……
I remember there was this one pigeon…
她和其他的鸽子不同……
She was different from all the others…
她有纯白色的羽毛 翅膀尖端是灰色的
She had pure white feathers, with grey tips on her wings.
我爱那只鸽子 就像一个男人爱女人一样
I loved that pigeon as a man loves a woman.
她也爱我
And she loved me.
当她翅膀受伤的时候 我倾尽毕生积蓄
I even spent my entire life savings nursing her back to health
照顾她 使她康复
when she broke her wing.
这就是真爱！
That is true love.
就是这样！
There you have it!
如何成为像尼古拉·特斯拉这样的天才
How to be a genius like me, Nikola Tesla.
谢谢你观看我的视频
Thank you for watching my video.
请在下方留言告诉我
Leave a comment below to let me know
我成为天才的秘诀是如何改善你生活的！
how my tips for becoming a genius have improved your life!
还有别忘了订阅我的频道！
And don’t forget to Like and Subscribe tothe channel!
98
Ninety-eight.
99
Ninety-nine.
100！
One hundred!
啊！
Ah!
只剩九个脚趾头啦！
Nine more toes to go!
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