08 Eppie has grown up

8 Eppie has grown up
　　It was a bright autumn Sunday，sixteen years after Silas had found Eppie in his cottage．The Raveloe church bells were ringing，and people were coming out of church after the morning service．First came the new squire，Godfrey Cass，looking a little heavier now，but with a straight back and a firm step．On his arm was his wife Nancy，still a pretty woman．Just behind them came Mr Lammeter and Priscilla．They all went into the Red House．
　　'You and Priscilla will stay for tea，won't you？Nancy asked her father．
　　'My dear，you must ask Priscilla，'replied Mr Lammeter with a smile．'She manages me and the farm as well．'
　　'Well，it's better for your health if I manage everything，fa ther，'said Priscilla．'Then there's nothing for you to worry about．No，Nancy dear，we must go home now． But you and I can have a walk round the garden while the servants are get ting the horses ready．
　　When the sisters were alone in the garden，Priscilla said，'My dear，I'm very glad you're going to have a dairy．Making your own butter will give you something to think about all the time．You'll never be sad when you've got a dairy．'And she put her arm through her sister's．
　　'Dear Priscilla，'said Nancy gratefully．'I'm only ever sad when Godfrey is．I could be happy if he could accept our life as it is．But it's more difficult for a man ．'
　　'Men！'cried Priscilla impatiently．'They're always wanting something new！Never happy with what they've got！I'm glad I was too ugly to get married！I'm much happier with fa－ther！'
　　' Oh Priscilla，'said Nancy．'Don't be angry with Godfrey—he's a very good husband． But of course he's disappointed that we haven't had children—he wanted them so much．'
　　'Well，father is waiting for me—I'd better go now．Goodbye，my dear．'And the sisters kissed goodbye When Priscilla and her father had left，Godfrey said，'Nancy，I think I'll just go and look at some of the fields we're draining near the old quarry ．'
　　'You'll be back by tea-time，dear？'
　　'Oh yes，I'll be back in an hour．'
　　This was a habit of Godfrey's on Sunday afternoons．He en－joyed walking round the fields that belonged to him now．So Nancy often had a quiet hour at about this time，which she spent reading，or sometimes just thinking.
　　She remembered all the little things that had happened to her，especially during her marriage，in the last fifteen years ．The great sadness of her married life had been the death of her only baby．Like most women，she had looked forward to be－coming a mother very much．But when the baby died soon af－ter it was born，she made herself accept the fact． She did not allow herself to think about it，or to wish for anything different．Godfrey，however，had been terribly disappointed，es－pecially when it seemed likely that Nancy could have no more children．
　　Nancy's religion was extremely important to her．She firmly believed that people should accept whatever happened to them in life，because it was God who decided everything．But she un-derstood how difficult it was for Godfrey to accept that their marriage would be childless．'Was I right，'she wondered for the hundredth time，'to refuse him，when he said we should adopt a child？I believe that if God hasn't given us a child，it's because God doesn't want us to have one．I'm sure I'm right．But poor Godfrey！It's worse for him than for me．I've got him， and the house，and now the dairy to think about． But although he's always good to me，I know he's unhappy—he wants children so much！'
　　From the first moment Godfrey had spoken of adopting a child，he had mentioned Eppie's name．She had always been the child he wanted to adopt．He had no idea that Silas would rather die than lose Eppie，and he imagined that the weaver would be glad if the child were adopted by the Cass family．'After all，the girl will have a much better life with us，'he told himself．'I can't be really happy if we don't have a child．And I can never tell Nancy the truth about Eppie—I'm afraid she'll hate me for it．'
　　While Nancy was sitting quietly in the Red House，thinking about her husband，Silas and Eppie were sitting outside their cottage near the quarry They had been to church too，which they did every week，like the Casses and most of the villagers Silas had started taking Eppie to church when she was very young，because Dolly Winthrop had persuaded him that every child should have some religious training．Because of Eppie，Silas was completely accepted in Raveloe now．Nobody thought he was strange any more；in fact，he was almost a popular fig-ure in the village．
　　He was older now，and could not work as hard as he used to．Recently，as he had more time to think，he had begun to re-member the past，and his old friends at the Light Street chapel．He realized how his once lonely life had changed since Eppie had come to him Now he had friends，and trusted people，and was happy． And he began to see that the God in the Raveloe church was the same God he had been so angry with，the last time he had been to the chapel．It seemed to him that there had been some mistake in his past，which had thrown a dark shadow over his early life Perhaps now he would never know whether Mr Paston，the chapel minister，still thought he was guilty of stealing．And he would never dis－cover why the drawing of the lots had seemed to prove his guilt．'But there must be a Good of goodness in this world，'he thought，'because He sent Eppie to me．I must just trust，and believe that He is right.'
　　He had told Eppie how her mother had died in the snow，and he had given her the dead woman's wedding ring．Eppie was not at all interested in who her real father was，as she thought she had the best father in the world already．At the moment she was sitting close to Silas outside their door in the sunshine．Neither of them had spoken for a while．
　　'Father，'she said gently，'if I get married，do you think I should wear my mother's ring？'
　　'Oh，Eppie！'said Silas，surprised．'Are you thinking of get－ting married，then？'
　　'Well，Aaron was talking to me about it，'replied Eppie，blushing．'You know he's nearly twenty-four now，and is earning good money， and he'd like to marry soon．'
　　'And who would he like to marry？'asked Silas with rather a sad smile．
　　'Why，me，of course，daddy！'said Eppie，laughing and kiss－ing her father．'He won't want to marry anyone else！'
　　'And you'd like to marry him，would you？'asked Silas．
　　'Yes，one day．I don't know when．Aaron says everyone's married some time．But I told him that's not true，because you haven't ever been married，have you，daddy？'
　　'No，child，'said Silas．'I was a lonely man before you were sent to me．'
　　'But you'll never be lonely again，father，'said Eppie loving－ly．'That's what Aaron said．He doesn't want to take me away from you．He wants us all to live together，and he'll do all the work，and you needn't work at all，father．He'll be like a son to you．'
　　'Well，my child，you're young to be married，'said Silas．'But he's a good young man．We'll ask his mother what we should do．She always gives us good advice．You see，Eppie，I'm getting older，and I'd like to think of you with a strong young husband to take care of you for the rest of your life．Yes，we'll ask Dolly Winthrop for her opinion．'




■ 8 埃比长大了
　　这是西拉斯在小屋找到埃比16年后的秋天的一个晴朗的礼拜日。瑞福洛教堂的钟声响了，做完晨祷的人们陆续走出教堂。走在最前面的是新的乡绅戈弗雷·凯斯，他比以前胖了一些，可是背很直，步伐也很坚定。他的太太南茜挽着他的胳膊。南茜仍然那么漂亮。在他们后面的是拉默特先生和普丽西拉。大家一起走进了红屋。
　　“你和普丽西拉会在这儿喝茶吧？”南茜问自己的父亲。
　　“亲爱的，那得问问普丽西拉，”拉默特先生笑着说，“她既管着农场，也管着我。”
　　“一切由我来管对你有好处，爸爸。”普丽西拉说，“这样你就不用为各种事操心了。不，亲爱的南茜，我们得回家去了。不过咱们可以趁用人备马的时候到花园里去走一走。”
　　姐妹两人单独在花园里的时候，普丽西拉说：“我亲爱的，我真高兴你就要有牛奶厂了。自己做奶酪，你就会整天有事可想了。有了牛奶厂，你就再不会发愁了。”她挽起妹妹的胳膊。
　　“亲爱的普丽西拉，”南茜感激地说，“只有戈弗雷发愁的时候我才会发愁。如果他能接受我们的生活，我会很高兴，可这对一个男人来说太难了。”
　　“男人！”普丽西拉不耐烦地说，“他们总想要新鲜的东西，从不会对得到的东西感到满意！我真幸运太丑了嫁不出去！我和爸爸在一起要快乐得多。”
　　“哦，普丽西拉，”南茜说，“你别怪戈弗雷——他是个很好的丈夫。当然他因为我们没有孩子失望——他太想要孩子了。”
　　“好了，爸爸在等我——我得走了。再见，亲爱的！”姐妹俩互相吻别。
　　普丽西拉和她父亲走后，戈弗雷说：“南茜，我想我得去看看那几片靠近采石场的正在排水的地。”
　　“你会回来喝茶吗？亲爱的？”
　　“会，我一小时后回来。”
　　这是戈弗雷在礼拜日下午的习惯，他喜欢绕着那些现在属于他的土地走一走。南茜会利用这安静的一小时看看书，或是想想事。
　　她记得以前发生过的所有小事，尤其是结婚15年来的情形。唯一的孩子的夭折是她婚姻生活中最大的痛苦。和大部分女人一样，她渴望着做一个母亲，但她的孩子降生后不久就死了，于是她强迫自己接受了这个事实。她不许自己去想这件事，也不许自己去做其他的设想。然而戈弗雷极其失望，尤其当看到南茜很可能不能再要孩子的时候。
　　宗教信仰对南茜非常重要，她坚信人们应当接受命运赋予他们的一切，因为那是上帝安排的，但她知道戈弗雷是多么难以接受他们没有孩子的婚姻。“我这样对吗？”南茜第100次问自己，“拒绝按他说的去收养一个孩子？我想上帝没给我们孩子是因为他不想让我们有孩子。我想我是对的。可是可怜的戈弗雷，他比我要痛苦，我拥有了他，拥有了房子，又将有牛奶厂，可他虽然对我一直很好，可我知道他并不开心——他太想要孩子了。”
　　戈弗雷第一次提起收养孩子的时候就讲到了埃比的名字。他一直很想收养她，没有想到西拉斯宁可死也不愿意失去埃比，只认为织布匠会为埃比被凯斯家收养而高兴。“不管怎样，小姑娘跟着我们会过得好得多。”他对自己说。“没有孩子我不会真的幸福。可我又不能说出关于埃比的实情——南茜一定会因此而恨我的。”
　　南茜静静地坐在家里想着她丈夫的时候，西拉斯和埃比正坐在他们采石场旁边的小屋前面。像平时一样。他们也同凯斯一家和其他村民一道做了礼拜。因为多莉劝西拉斯说每个孩子都应该接受宗教教育，所以西拉斯在埃比很小的时候就开始带她去教堂。由于埃比的原因，西拉斯现在完完全全被瑞福洛的人们所接受了。没人再认为他奇怪，实际上，他几乎成了瑞福洛村里一个很受欢迎的人。
　　西拉斯年龄大了，不能像原来那样拚命干活了。最近，因为有了更多的思考的时间，他开始回忆过去，回忆日光街小教堂的老朋友们。他意识到了自己一度寂寞的生活是怎么因为埃比而改变的。他现在有朋友，信任别人而且幸福。他开始觉得瑞福洛的这个上帝和最后一次去日光街小教堂时他曾气恼过的那个上帝是同一个上帝。他认为自己可能前世做过什么错事，给自己的前半生罩上了一层阴影。可能他永远无法知道小教堂的牧师帕斯通先生是不是仍认为他犯了偷窃罪，他也永远无法发现为什么抽签会证明他有罪。“但这世上一定有一个好的上帝，”他想，“因为他把埃比送给了我。我必须相信他是对的。”
　　他对埃比讲了她母亲是怎么死在雪地上的，并把她妈妈的结婚戒指给了她。埃比一点儿也不关心她的亲生父亲是谁，因为她觉得自己已经有了一个世界上最好的爸爸。这会儿她正紧挨着西拉斯坐在门外晒太阳。两人都沉默了一会儿。
　　“爸爸，”埃比轻声说，“如果我结婚，我要不要戴妈妈的戒指？”
　　“什么，埃比，”西拉斯吓了一跳，“你想结婚了吗？”
　　“阿荣对我谈起了，”埃比的脸红了，“你知道他都快二十四岁了，而且也挣钱了，他想早点儿结婚。”
　　“他想娶谁？”西拉斯笑得很悲伤。
　　“当然是我了，爸爸！”埃比笑着吻了她的父亲，“他除了我谁也不娶。”
　　“你想嫁给他，是吗？”西拉斯问。
　　“是的，有一天会的。我也不知道会是哪一天。阿荣说人总要结婚，我说那可不一定，你就没结过婚，对吧，爸爸？”
　　“是的，孩子，”西拉斯说，“在你来到我身边之前，我一直是一个孤独的人。”
　　“不过你不会再孤独了，爸爸，”埃比深情地说，“阿荣也这么说，他不想把我从你身边夺走，他想我们大家生活在一起，他干所有的活儿，你不用再工作了，他会像儿子那样孝敬你。”
　　“可是，我的孩子，你太小了还不该结婚，”西拉斯说，“可他确实是个好小伙子。咱们问问他妈妈，看看该怎么做。她总能帮我们。你看，埃比，我老了，我也希望你有个年轻强壮的丈夫来照顾你以后的生活。好吧，我们去问问多莉·温思罗普的意见。”