《像间谍一样观察》：跟FBI学习讨人喜欢的社交技巧

书名：像间谍一样观察

推广宣传语：求职、交友、搭讪都好用的小秘诀，包你抓住ta的心！

分类：男神女神

作者：杰克·谢弗尔、马文·卡林斯

国别：美国

播音：芳思（专业版）；Tyler（英文版）

关于本书：

想变得讨人喜欢、受人欢迎，却不知道从哪儿下手？前FBI特工和心理学博士一起来帮你支招，告诉你内行人的小秘诀。

在《心动开关》这本书里，作者探讨了非言语性的社交暗示及其他帮助你吸引别人的交流技巧，从肢体语言到吸引力法则，还有各种心理攻略，他们把自己结交新朋友和影响人心的秘诀一一传授。

本书金句：

1.  要让一个人喜欢你，第一步就是要频繁地接近对方。俗话说日久生情，在一起待得时间长了，就更有可能会被对方吸引。

The first steps are to frequently be in proximity with the person you want to like you. People who share the same physical surroundings are more likely to be drawn to one another.

2.    快速的上下挑眉虽然持续六分之一秒，但却非常有效，即使在离得很远的地方，挑眉也能告诉别人你并没有恶意。

A rapid up-and-down movement of the eyebrows lasts for around one-sixth of a second. Even from quite far away, an eyebrow flash sends a signal that you don’t pose a threat to the person you’re approaching.

3.  交友黄金法则：要想让人喜欢，先得想办法让对方感觉良好。

The golden rule of friendship posits that if you want people to like you, you need to make them feel good about themselves.

4.    要学会鼓励别人说话，就要做到下面四部曲，那就是倾听、观察、表达和同感。

To encourage other people to speak effectively, remember the acronym LOVE: Listen, Observe, Vocalize and Empathize.

5.  要怎么判断融洽度呢？注视就是一种行之有效的方法。如果对方回避你的目光，那你们的关系可能还需要再发展一下，才能进行更长时间的眼神接触。

So how do you gauge rapport? Eye gaze is a tried and true way to test for rapport. If a person refuses to lock eyes with you, the relationship might need some more maintenance before advancing to the stage of prolonged eye contact.

小结标题：

1.  为什么要读这本书？跟FBI特工学习讨人喜欢的小秘籍

2.  讨人喜欢三要素：频繁接近、持久相处、加深交流

3.  肢体语言胜过千言万语

4.  要想别人喜欢你，首先要让对方感觉良好

5.  学会利用吸引力法则

6.  做一个良好的倾听者

7.  眼神交流和动作模仿说明融洽的关系

1.    What’s in it for me? Get people to like you using inside tips from an FBI special agent.

2.    If you want someone to like you, follow the formula. Frequency, proximity, duration, intensity.

3.    Nonverbal cues set the stage for a potential friendship. Eyebrows, head tilts and smiles speak volumes.

4.    You have to make people feel good about themselves if you want them to like you!

5.    To enhance the potential for friendship connections, don’t forget the laws of attraction.

6.    Listen up! Let others tell their story. And to cement relationships, remember the acronym LOVE.

7.    Does a friend meet your eyes when you talk? Does she mirror your movements? Then you have rapport.