【Welcome Speech 】:Why did I learn positive discipline

Jane:  NIhao! Himalaya listeners,this is doctor Jane Nelsen, the author of the positive discipline books. AndI’m here with……

Marry: her daughter, her youngest daughter, Mary Nelsen.

简：喜马拉雅的朋友，你好！我是简·尼尔森，也是是正面管教系列图书的作者。今天，我和我最小的女儿玛丽·尼尔森一同为大家讲述。

Jane: I am the mother of seven children. When I call my before, during and after children, the two that were raised before I even learned about positive discipline, the three that were raised while I was learning positive discipline. And the two that came after I learned positive discipline.

简：我是七个孩子的母亲。其中两个孩子是在我学习正面管教之前养育的，有三个是我在学习正面管教的过程中养育的，还有两个是在我学习完正面管教之后出生的。

And so now one of my greatest joys is that Mary, my youngest child, who was raised with positive discipline, is now practicing positive discipline with her three children. And as a therapist and as a co-author of a book we were able to write together. And I’m really looking forward to being able to do these lessons with Mary.

玛丽，是我最小的孩子，是在正面管教的氛围中长大的。让我最骄傲的是，她也在用正面管教来教育自己的三个孩子。她是一名心理治疗师，也曾与我合著过书。我非常期待和玛丽一起为大家讲述正面管教。

Marry: Thank you everyone for listening. And it is my honour and privilege to be working so closely with my mother. As a child raised by positive discipline and what I have learned in China, that they refer to me as a P.D. baby.

玛丽：谢谢你的收听。能与自己的母亲密切合作也是我的荣幸。我本身就是在正面管教方式中成长起来的，我在中国也学到很多了东西。大家习惯叫我PD宝贝（PD是正面管教两个单词的首字母）。

I didn't really appreciate all of the tools and all of the principles and experiences that I had as the daughter of the author of the positive discipline series. It wasn't until I became an adult myself that I realized that many of the tools that I had learned and was completely fluent in were  not fluent to all of my colleagues and friends after leaving high to high school and going to college. I have really appreciated these tools now more than ever, because I’m a mother of three young boys who remind me every single day that there's no such thing as a perfect parent.

即使作为正面管教创始人的女儿，我一开始也没有真正理解正面管教的工具和原则。直到成年了，我才意识到自己学到的正面管教工具是非常有用的。作为三个男孩的母亲，我真的由衷地感激这些工具。我也从中真正明白了，世界上根本就没有完美父母。

And even as Jane Nelsen's daughter, I’m also a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego. I'm a positive discipline parent trainer and educator. I am honoured and privileged to be the co-author of the new parenting tool book with both my mom and brother Brad, as well as a popular speaker and trainer throughout China. It's been a real experience and a real honour to share with so many eager parents in China that are wanting to learn different ways to raise their children, to be confident and respectful and to really just have a mutual and loving respectful relationship with their children.

我是简·尼尔森的女儿，在圣地亚哥是一名专业婚姻家庭治疗师。我还是一名正面管教家长培训师和教育者。我很荣幸能与我的母亲，以及哥哥布拉德合著一本育儿方面的新书。他也是一位在中国很受欢迎的演讲者和培训师。很多的中国父母想要学习探索不同的育儿方法，想要学会自信和尊重，想和孩子真正建立起充满爱和尊严的关系。能与他们分享正面管教知识，是一种难得的体验和莫大的荣幸。

And I have learned that when I don't practice positive discipline tools or when I get stuck in perfect parenting moment, parenting can be really really hard. And when I go back to the principles and the tools that I’ve been raised with, the foundation that I know so well, I have really found that the experience of being a parent is so much more enjoyable. So as a child that was raised with these tools. And now as a mother who is raising her children with these tools, I can say that my relationship with my mother is closer than any other relationship I’ve ever experienced.

当我不使用正面管教工具，或者当我陷入要当完美父母困境的时候，养育子女可能就真的很难很难。当我回到正面管教的原则和工具，回到这些我非常了解的概念时，我才能享受当父母的感觉。作为一个被以正面管教方式养大的孩子，和一个使用正面管教养育孩子的母亲，现在我与母亲的关系，比我曾经历过的任何其他关系都更加亲近。

And I’m learning more and more that it's not common. And that is a true testimony. If you want aloving, healthy, respectful relationship even into the adult years with your child, these tools really build that connection. And it really builds the foundation that you want with your child and the relationship that you're going to have for the future. So please continue to tune in and listen as we share the tools that we know and the experiences that we've had using these tools and the principles behind these tools.

而且我越来越多地了解到，这种非常亲切的母子或者母女关系并不常见。所以我的经历就是一个对正面管教的真实例证。如果你想要与孩子在成年后依然享有一种充满爱心、健康、尊重的关系，那么这些工具确实能够帮你们建立这种联系。它真的可以为你与孩子的关系，尤其是未来长远的关系，打下牢固基础。因此，在我们分享这些正面管教工具、使用这些工具的经验以及工具背后的原则原理时，希望你能一直收听下去。

Jane: And Mary said there is no such thing as a perfect parent. And she will certainly be able to show stories about when I was not a perfect parent. In fact, you can look forward to the time when I called her a spoiled brat. But because of these tools, as Mary also said, when we make mistakes, they don't last forever because we can realize we made a mistake. We can go back to one of the tools and make up for the mistake and create a relationship that was better than if we hadn't made the mistake in the first place.

简：玛丽说，世上就没有完美的父母。我不是一个完美的母亲，我曾经还惯坏过玛丽。但玛丽也提到了，正是由于这些工具，当我们犯错时，问题不会永远存在，因为我们能够意识到我们犯了错误。我们可以回到其中一个工具上来，弥补这个错误，并建立起比我们没有犯错误时更好的关系。

So that is one of theprimary tools that we are going to learn about is that mistakes are opportunities to learn. This is a great thing to teach your children as well as to know yourself that what you learn will not make you a perfect parent. It will not make your children perfect, but you will learn the tools to correct your mistakes, to teach great lessons that couldn't be learned without the mistakes and end up with a very loving relationship.

其实这也是我们要学习的主要工具之一，那就是，错误是学习的好机会。当然你要知道，学会这些并不会让你成为一个完美父母，也不会让你的小孩成为完美小孩。但你会学习到纠正错误的工具，吸取到没有错误就无法学到的教训，就可以建立一种非常友好的关系。

Marry: And to actually enjoy parenting, I think that I havehad that common theme with every parent that I have met. We all want to be great parents.

玛丽：实际上，为了享受为人父母，我认为每个父母都有一个共同的愿望，那就是都希望成为伟大的父母。

And unless you have,you know, continue to read the books as your child grows or continue to take parenting classes or parenting education, which is not as common until we are in the struggle and experiencing the challenges with our children that we realize,this is not easy and it's really important. It's a really important job and it can be really fun and enjoyable to have these tools in your tool belt or in your box, and enjoy parenting along the way. We look forward to sharing more with you. And until then, bye bye.

要做完美父母，除非你在孩子成长的同时持续地学习育儿课程，而这是很少见的。直到我们陷入困境、经历着教育孩子的各种挑战而开始学习时，我们才意识到，我的天哪，原来做好父母其实很简单。所以，在你的育儿经中增加正面管教这一项，是一个非常重要的事情，而且在此过程中可以享受为人父母。 我们期待在未来与你分享更多。再见。

Jane: Bye bye.

简：再见。