07.The last ride

7.The last ride
7．最后一段行程
It was about midday when Ethan got home. Zeena was by the fire with a scarf on her head and a book about stomach pains in her hand. She did not move or look up.


伊桑到家时，大概是中午。齐娜裹着头巾坐在炉火边，手里拿着本跟胃病有关的书。她一动不动，连眼皮也没抬。


Where's Mattie?' Ethan asked.


“玛蒂呢？”伊桑问道。


Zeena continued to read her book. 'I guess she's packing her case,' she replied.


齐娜继续看她的书，答道：“我猜她在收拾箱子吧。”


Ethan went straight upstairs. Mattie's door was closed. 'Matt,' he said in a low voice. There was no answer, so he gently pushed open the door.


伊桑径直上了楼。玛蒂的房间关着门。“玛蒂。”他低声道。没有应声，于是他轻轻地推开门。


Mattie was sitting on her case in her best dress, with her back to the door and her face in her hands. She was crying. Ethan put his hands on her shoulders.


玛蒂穿着她最好的衣服，坐在箱子上，背对着门，双手捂脸，正在哭呢。伊桑把双手放在她肩上。


Matt — oh, don't — oh, Matt!'


“玛蒂——哦，不要——哦，玛蒂！”


Ethan — I thought you weren't coming back!' she cried, lifting her wet face to his.


“伊桑——我以为你不回来了！”她哭着，抬起满是泪水的脸看他。


He took her in his arms, and kissed her soft hair. Then they heard Zeena calling, and moved away from each other.


他抱住她，亲吻她柔软的头发。接着，他们听到齐娜的喊声，于是相互分开来。


He carried her suitcase downstairs, and with every 'tick' of the clock, the pain in his heart grew.


他提着她的行李箱下楼，钟声每“滴答”一下，他心中的痛苦就增长一分。


At dinner he could eat nothing. After the meal Zeena sat down by the fire and Mattie began to wash the dishes. Jotham got up from the table and asked Ethan:


午饭时，他什么都吃不下去。饭后，齐娜又坐在炉火边，玛蒂开始洗碗碟。乔撒姆从桌边站了起来，问伊桑：


So what time'll I come round for Mattie?'


“我什么时候来接玛蒂？”


You needn't come round; I'm going to drive her over myself,' he answered.


“你不用过来了，我会驾车送她去。”伊桑答道。


Zeena lifted her head. 'I want you here this afternoon, Ethan. You'll have to get the room ready for the new girl. Jotham can take Mattie.'


齐娜抬起头来。“我想要你下午待在这儿，伊桑。你得给新来的女孩儿准备好房间。乔撒姆可以送玛蒂去。”


I'm going to drive her over myself,' he repeated in a hard voice. He turned to Mattie: 'You be ready at three, Matt. I've got business in Corbury.'


“我要亲自送她去。”伊桑冷冷地重复了一句，转身对玛蒂说：“3点钟你准备好，玛蒂。我在科贝里还有事。”


With those words he left the house. He could feel the hot blood beating in his head, as the anger burned inside him. He hurried through his work. then went to get the horse and sleigh. He remembered the day when he had got the sleigh ready in order to fetch his wife's cousin from the station. It was little more than a year ago, on a soft afternoon just like this, with a whisper of spring in the air. And all the days between then and now came back to him, one by one.


说完这话，他离开了家。他胸中一团怒火，热血在脑中砰砰直蹦。他匆匆干完活儿，就去准备马和雪橇。他记起了自己备好雪橇去车站接妻子的表妹那天。那是在一年多前，也像今天下午一样，天气温和，空气中带有一丝春意。一时间，这一年多来发生的事情一件一件都浮现在他眼前。


He jumped into the sleigh and drove up to the house. The kitchen was empty, and Mattie's case and coat lay ready by the door. After a moment he heard someone moving about in his study-room. He pushed open the door and saw Mattie standing by the table.


他跳上雪橇，驶到家门口。厨房里没人，玛蒂的箱子和外套放在门口。过了一会儿，他听到书房里有人，于是推开门，看见玛蒂站在桌子旁。


What are you doing in there, Matt?'


“玛蒂，你在那儿干吗？”


Just looking round,' she replied.


“只是看一看。”玛蒂答道。


Where's Zeena?'


“齐娜呢？”


Gone upstairs. She said she had her pains again.'


“上楼了。她说她又疼上了。”


Didn't she say goodbye?'


“她没跟你告别？”


No. That was all she said.'


“没，她只说了那些。”


They went back into the kitchen. Ethan looked slowly around the room, thinking, 'In a few hours I shall return here alone. I'm looking at Mattie here for the last time.' He could not believe it; it all seemed so unreal.


他们走回厨房。伊桑慢慢地环视房间，想道：“再过几个小时，我就要孤身一人回到这里。在这儿看玛蒂最后一眼吧。”他不敢相信，一切看起来都不像是真的。


Come on,' he said, opening the door. He helped her into the sleigh, and with a 'Go along!' to the horse, they started off down the hill.


“来吧。”他说着打开了门，扶玛蒂上了雪橇。“走吧！”他对马吆喝一声，向山下驶去。


We got lots of time for a good ride, Matt!' he said, taking her hand in his.


“咱们有时间好好走一程，玛蒂！”他说着，握住她的手。


As they left the farm, he did not take the road towards Starkfield, but turned the horse to the right, up the Bettsbridge road. Mattie did not seem surprised.


出了农场，他没走去斯塔克菲尔德的路，而是把马头一转，向右奔贝茨布里奇而去。玛蒂并没感到奇怪。


Are you going round by Shadow Pond?'


“你要绕夏多池塘的那条路吗？”


You knew, didn't you?' he laughed.


“你早就知道，是不？”他笑了。


The road took them down into a wood, where the trees shone reddish in the afternoon sun, leaving soft blue shadows on the untouched snow. There was a warm stillness in the wood. In the middle was a small icy pond, with sweet-smelling trees all around. It was a quiet, secret place, like the quiet sadness in Ethan's heart. They saw a fallen tree by the icy water, half covered in snow. It was where they had sat once last August, together with a group of young people from Starkfield church.


他们沿路驶进一片树林。午后的阳光下，树木泛着红光，在没有足印的雪地上投下柔和的蓝色阴影。树林中有种温暖的寂静，林中有一个冰封的小小池塘，池塘周围的树木散发着芬芳的气息。这是一片寂静、隐秘的地方，就像伊桑沉默、悲伤的心。他们看见冰封的池水旁有一棵树倒在那儿，一半埋在雪里。他俩还曾在那上面坐过，那是在8月，和一群从斯塔克菲尔德教堂里来的年轻人一起。


They sat down now in the same place, and remembered those few happy moments from that hot summer afternoon. Ethan looked at Mattie's hair, and wished he could touch it again. He wanted to tell her that it smelled of the woods in springtime, but he had never learned to say things like that.


现在他们又在原处坐下，回忆着自那个炎热的夏日午后以来，曾度过的几段美好时光。伊桑看着玛蒂的头发，希望能再轻抚它。他想告诉她，她的头发闻起来有股春日树林的味道，可他从不会说那样的话。


When the sun began to go down behind the hill, Mattie said: 'We mustn't stay here any longer.'


太阳开始落山了，玛蒂说道：“我们不能在这儿待下去了。”


As they drove back towards Starkfield, the sky was turning grey, with a cold red over the western hills.


他们驶回斯塔克菲尔德镇的时候，天阴了起来，西边的山上显出一抹冷冷的红色。


Matt,' Ethan said at last. 'What'll you do? Can't you ask your father's family for help?'


“玛蒂，”伊桑终于说道，“你能干什么呢？就不能让你父亲家的亲戚们帮帮忙？”


I don't want to ask them,' she replied, then after a moment added: 'I guess I'll find something.'


“我不想求他们。”她答道，过了一会儿又说，“我想我能找到事做。”


You know I'd do anything for you —'


“你知道，为了你我什么都愿意做——”


Yes, I know.'


“嗯，我知道。”


But I can't —'


“可我不能——”


She was silent, but he felt her shoulder shaking. 'Oh, Matt,' he cried. 'I wish...'


她沉默了，可他能感到她的肩膀在颤抖。“哦，玛蒂，”他喊道，“我希望……”


She turned to him. 'Ethan, I found this.' She held out a piece of paper. It was the unfinished letter to his wife, which he had forgotten to destroy. A painful happiness ran through him. Were Mattie's dreams the same as his? He had to know.


她转过身来。“伊桑，我发现了这个。”她手里拿着张纸，是他写给妻子的未完成的信，他忘了毁掉它。他心中滑过一阵苦涩的幸福感。难道玛蒂和他想的一样？他必须知道。


Do you feel like that too, Matt? Tell me, Matt, tell me!'


“你也这么想吗，玛蒂？告诉我，玛蒂，告诉我！”


Oh, Ethan, what does it matter now?' she cried. With a sudden movement she tore the letter into pieces and threw them onto the snow. For a moment she was silent, then said in a low voice:


“哦，伊桑，现在还有什么意义吗？”她大声说道。她猛地把信撕成碎片，抛到雪上。她沉默了一会儿，然后低声说道：


The first time I thought of you like that was at Shadow Pond. Then I often used to think about you on summer nights when the moon was too bright and I couldn't sleep.'


“我第一次那么想你的时候是在夏多池塘。从那以后，每当夏夜里月光皎洁，我睡不着的时候，就常常想你。”


Her words filled Ethan's heart with sweetness. Darkness began to fall and they drove on in silence for a while.


她的话让伊桑心中充满了甜蜜。天开始暗了下来，他们默默地行了一段路。


I'm fastened hand and foot, Matt. There isn't a thing I can do,' he began again.


“我完全被束缚住了，玛蒂。什么都干不了。”他说道。


You must write to me sometimes, Ethan.'


“你一定要时不时给我写信，伊桑。”


Oh, what can writing do? I want to put my hand out and touch you. I want to take care of you. I want to be there when you're sick and when you're lonely.'


“哦，写信又有什么用呢？我想伸出手来，触摸你，我想照顾你，在你生病、孤独的时候陪着你。”


Oh, Ethan, I wish I was dead!' she cried.


“哦，伊桑，我真希望我死了！”她大声说道。


Don't let's talk that way,' he whispered.


“别这么说。”他低语道。


As they arrived in Starkfield, a sleigh with bells passed them. They heard happy children's voices and saw a group of village boys with sleds. They drove on to the top of the Corbury road. On one side was the tall white shape of the church, on the other were the dark shadows of the Varnum trees. The steep slope lay empty and white below them. An idea came to Ethan, to help himself and her through their miserable last hour. He turned to Mattie.


他们到达斯塔克菲尔德镇的时候，一驾马拉雪橇响着铃铛从他们身边驶过。他们听到孩子们幸福的叫声，看到一群村里的男孩儿带着滑雪橇。他们驶上科贝里的最高处，一边是高高的白色教堂，一边是瓦纳姆家的树投下的暗影。脚下的陡坡白雪皑皑，空无一人。伊桑想到一个主意，能让自己和玛蒂熬过这痛苦的最后时刻。他转身对玛蒂说：


We never went coasting last night. Shall we go down now? How would you like that?'


“我们昨晚还没玩滑坡呢，现在玩怎么样？你愿意吗？”


There isn't time!'


“可我们没时间了！”


There's as much time as we want,' he said. 'The hired girl can wait. Look, someone's left a sled under the trees.'


“我们想要多少时间，就有多少时间。”伊桑说，“雇来的女孩儿可以等着。瞧，有人把滑雪橇落在树下了。”


He helped her out of the sleigh, and took her by the hand towards the sled. They both sat down on it, with Mattie in front and Ethan behind.


伊桑扶玛蒂下了雪橇，拉着她的手向滑雪橇走去。两个人坐了上去，玛蒂在前，伊桑在后。


It's so dark, Ethan. Are you sure you can see?'


“天好黑，伊桑，你确信能看得见吗？”


Oh, I can do this with my eyes closed!' he laughed. She laughed with him, then after a moment he cried: 'Now!'


“嗬，我闭上眼睛都行！”他笑着说，玛蒂也笑了。过了一会儿，伊桑喊了一嗓子：“下去喽！”


They started off, and soon the sled was flying down the slope, round the corner by the big tree, and down the second slope. They came to a stop, picked up the sled, and began to climb up the hill again.


他们出发了，不一会儿，滑雪橇就飞速冲下坡去，绕过拐角处的大树，滑下第二个斜坡。他们停了下来，拿起滑雪橇，又开始爬上山来。


It was wonderful!' laughed Mattie.


“太棒啦！”玛蒂笑着说。


Weren't you afraid when we went round the tree?'


“从大树旁边滑过的时候你不害怕吗？”


I'm never afraid with you,' she replied.


“跟你在一起，我从来不怕。”玛蒂答道。


A deep silence seemed to fall from the starless sky. At each step of their climb Ethan said to himself: 'It's the last time we'll ever walk together.'


天上一颗星星都没有，一片沉寂弥漫开来。他们每爬一步，伊桑都对自己说：“这是我们最后一次走在一起了。”


When they reached the Varnum trees, Ethan put back the sled. 'I guess this must be Ned Hale's sled,' he said.


走到瓦纳姆家的树丛旁时，伊桑把滑雪橇放了回去。“我猜这肯定是内德·黑尔的滑雪橇。”他说。


Is this where Ned and Ruth kissed each other?' Mattie whispered, throwing her arms round Ethan. Her lips found his, and Ethan held her close to him.


“内德和露丝就是在这儿互相亲吻的吗？”玛蒂低声问道，她搂住伊桑，将嘴唇贴上了伊桑的嘴唇，伊桑抱紧了她。


Goodbye — goodbye,' she said in a shaking voice, and kissed him again.


“再见了——再见了。”她的声音颤抖着，又亲吻了伊桑一下。


Matt, I can't let you go! What'll we do? What'll we do?'


“玛蒂，我不能让你走！我们该怎么办？我们该怎么办？”


They stood holding hands like children. Through the stillness they heard the church clock.


他们站在一起，像孩子一样手握着手。寂静中，他们听到了教堂的钟声。


Oh, Ethan, it's already five o'clock. It's time!'


“哦，伊桑，已经5点钟了。到时间了！”


Time for what? I'm not leaving you now. How can we go anywhere without each other, after this?'


“到什么时间了？我不会离开你的。今后，彼此不在一起，我们怎么能去别的地方？”


Suddenly she threw her arms round his neck again.


突然，玛蒂再次搂住伊桑的脖子。


Ethan! Ethan! I want you to take me down again!'


“伊桑！伊桑！我想让你再带我滑下去！”


Down where?'


“滑到哪儿去？”


Down there. Into the tree, to finish it all. Then we'll never have to leave each other again.'


“滑到那儿，撞上大树，结束这一切。然后我们就再也不用分离了。”


Matt! What are you saying? Are you crazy?'


“玛蒂！你在说什么？你疯了吗？”


No, but I will be crazy if I leave you. Where'll I go without you? You're the only person who's ever been good to me. And there'll be a strange girl sleeping in my bed where I used to lie at night and think of you...'


“不，我没疯，但要是离开你我会疯的。没有你，我能去哪儿？只有你才对我好。以后会有个陌生的女孩儿睡在我床上，而我曾在夜晚躺在那里，想着你……”


Her words were like pieces torn from his heart. Now at last he knew that Mattie's feelings were as strong as his. How could he go back to that hated house, to the woman who was waiting for him there?


玛蒂的话撕扯着他的心。现在他终于明白，原来玛蒂的情感和自己一样强烈。他怎么能回到那个让人憎恶的家，回到正在那儿等候自己的女人身边呢？


He held her close and kissed her, but when her face touched his, it was cold and wet with tears. He saw the road down to the station, and through the still air he heard a train. The dark trees covered them in blackness and silence, like a grave. 'Perhaps it'll be like this,' he thought. 'After this I won't feel anything.'


他抱紧她，亲吻着她，她的脸触碰到他时，他感到冷冰冰的，她脸上流满了泪水。他看着通向车站的路，在寂静中听见有火车驶过。黑黢黢的树像坟墓一样，将他们笼罩在一片黑暗和沉寂之中。“或许就该如此。”他想，“这之后，我就再也不会有任何感觉了。”


Come,' she whispered, pulling at his hand. He picked the sled up, and they took their places on it. This time he made her sit behind him. She put her arms round him, and he turned his head and kissed her. She was right — this was better than being apart.


“来吧。”她低声说道，拉起他的手。他拿起滑雪橇，两个人坐了上去，这回，他让玛蒂坐在他后面。她搂住他，他转过头来，亲了亲她。她是对的——这比起分离要好得多。


Just as they started, he heard his horse whinny. First came the steep drop, and they seemed to be flying through the air, high up into the cloudy night. Then Ethan saw the big tree at the corner of the road, and he said between his teeth: 'We can do it; I know we can do it —'


刚刚向下滑的时候，伊桑听到他的马在嘶鸣。接着他们就滑下了陡坡，就像在空中飞行，穿过多云的夜空。然后，伊桑看到了拐角的大树，他咬着牙说：“我们能行的，我知道我们能行的——”


As they flew towards the tree, Mattie held him closer and he seemed to feel her heart beating. The tree became bigger and nearer. 'It's waiting for us; it knows,' he thought. But suddenly his wife's face, grim and twisted, appeared before him, and he moved to push the picture away. There was a last moment when the air shot past him like millions of burning stars. And then the tree...


他们冲向大树，玛蒂抱紧了伊桑，伊桑感觉得到她的心跳。树变得越来越大，越来越近。“它在等待我们，它知道的。”伊桑想着。可忽然间，他妻子那张阴沉、扭曲的脸又出现在他眼前，他动起来，想抹去眼前的画面。在最后一刻，一阵风扫过他的身体，像无数颗炽热的星星。然后，是那棵树……


The sky was still cloudy, but when he looked straight up he saw a single star. What was its name? He used to know, but he couldn't remember. He felt so tired...


天空依然阴云密布，可当他直视天空时，却看到了一颗孤星。它叫什么名字？他本来知道的，可现在却想不起来。他感到很累……


Through the deep stillness he heard a little animal making a small, frightened sound. He knew the animal was in terrible pain — he could feel its pain shooting through his own body. He reached out his left arm to help the poor animal, and felt something soft under his hand. He tried to move but could not, because there was a rock, or some heavy thing, lying on him. Then he realized that his hand was on Mattie's face, and the sound was coming from her lips...


在一片沉寂中，他听到有小动物发出微弱、受惊的声音。他知道它一定很痛——他能感觉它的疼痛穿过了自己的身体。他伸出左臂，想帮那可怜的家伙一把，却摸到一堆软软的东西。他想动弹，但却动不了，因为有石头，或者什么重重的东西压在他身上。这时他意识到，他摸到的是玛蒂的脸，而那声音是从她口中发出的……


He put his face next to hers, and in the darkness he saw her eyes open and heard her say his name.


他把脸凑到她的脸旁，黑暗中，看见她睁着双眼，叫着自己的名字。


Oh, Matt, I thought we'd done it,' he whispered; and far away, up the hill, he heard the horse whinny, and thought: 'I ought to give him his supper...'


“啊，玛蒂，我以为我们成功了呢。”他低声说道。他听到远远的山上马在嘶鸣，心想：“我该给它喂草料了……”